All my life I had been wishing that I was brave. But I do not have any big announcements to put on this list with the bold achievements.
I wish I had travelled to unknown destinations with only a backpack with me. I wish I have done hitchhiking, bungee jumping, sleep in a tent in the woods and talked to strangers more.
None of this happened!
I remember myself at the age of 6-7 to be afraid to get off the pavement and to take a step in my neighbourhood…Ever since I feel pretty much the same… with every big or small step, I need to make.
Only with my effort to be a mother, I discovered a small fraction of bravery inside me, but I don’t know if this was only a hormone issue.
To link the story to the painting part:
For a long time, I wanted to paint water.Bringing all the feeling of water onto the painting, such as transparency, freshness, all hues of blue, reflections, movement … was reaaally an ambitious project for me.
The first inspiring photo I could find, was cut out from a magazine: Two young women, diving into turquoise waters, wearing vintage bikinis, seen backwards.
The goal to paint water impression proved to be harder than expected.
In this effort, I tried a different painting technique at every corner of the canvas:
Tried plastic cards to spread colour fast.
Then tried brushes, for a more detailed work.
The best case was using my fingertips to mix colours and create hues of blue.
And before I could think of another way of painting water I changed tactic and stopped.I painted the women figures before water is ready or better to say before this blue creation even looked like water.
Changing one’s tactic can lead to different outcomes.
I painted the diving women and gave colour details to only one of them. The other one was left as a trace on the canvas, with the chalk pencil colour and only the swimming suit was coloured.
Eventually this imperfect figure, I found to be the most interesting part of the painting.
It is like a dream figure, it is transparent, it is there but also absent.
I wanted to paint perfectly the water but this was no more my aspiration.
This simple draw, on the blue, incomplete and undeveloped for the viewer, made me realise that the ghost of perfectionism kept me trapped for a long time!
Allowing being imperfect is an act of affection for who I really am.
Practising imperfectionism is a healthy habit.
Means that I gain awareness that my opinion is not always right.
I embrace diversity and discover that there are many ways to see things.
I become a kinder person when perceiving other peoples’ faults.
And to connect the dots with the intro of this post, practising and revealing imperfections is a bold act.
It is bravery. It is the very essence of being real.
I do not argue that one should stay in mediocrity – “Good” has always been the enemy of the Best!
I am only referring to all those steps I should have taken and would ‘t have to care about perfectionism.
Whenever anybody is ready.
My figure, simple as a kid’s draw but the same time ethereal and illusionary, stands for a dream or a fantasy!
And a dream is not real but often is incredibly powerful!
And all the things I want to achieve begin as a simple dream.
I shall not leave my dreams dry while seeking for the “perfect” water.
What is your score in practising never-minding imperfectionism?
How high have you put expectations on yourself?
What is your “ambitious” dream? Do tell me more…