Only recently, I convinced myself to join the swimming pool in order to have some exercise.
I will dare to share with you my experience of this first visit, which was indeed – in art-making terms- inspirational!
I admit that I am not an athletic type of person and I never was a member of an athletic team.
Also, I confirm that I do not have a problem with naked bodies or of my body being naked on a beach or in the changing rooms of the shops among other people.
Although I do have to admit, that my upbringing in Christian environment has loaded my young woman soul with blame and guilt about my body and its physiology.
But, my natural impulse had always been free of prejudices and demons associated with the naked body.
So, when I entered the dressing room of the swimming pool to see a bouquet of naked women of all ages, bathing in order to prepare themselves for the dive in the pool I was unexpectedly surprised.
My mind flew to Istanbul where I visited for the first time in my life a Turkish Bath.
Paintings like these appeared in my fantasy:
In this steamy atmosphere with the heating marbles and the running waters, I had my body and hair washed by another woman.
it was really a unique experience.It was a ritual of purification through water, architecture and steam.
I felt like I was a baby again and someone else would have to wash me.
So, back to the Swiming Pool while I was preparing myself for the dive, I witnessed all these women bodies in beauty and glow.
The element of perfection was missing from the equation…but there were all beautiful.
With breasts that were no longer facing the ceiling but with a beautiful round weight that gravity has given them.
Maybe they have been nurturing children or just have wakened up the passion to lovers!
I was aware of all this beauty in the ordinary bodies I was seeing around me, that I never expected was hidden so well underneath clothing.
Hips and arms and white hair and imperfections were blending beautifully.
A woman’s body is a sacred kingdom.
Life is born in a body like this!
I wanted to tell them how perfect they look, but I am shy enough to start talking to strangers in this way… out of nowhere!
So I kept it all for myself!
And since I do not want to talk to others if I do not examine my situation firstly, I realized this:
I began to love my body as I should, after a couple of pregnancy adventures when I FINALLY gave birth to my boy in 2015.
Never before have I felt the feeling of “affection” for this big partner in life: my Body!
For all of my youth, I have been measuring to find all problems that needed to fix! My nose, my belly, my skin… you name it…
Anxious measurements to fit the model standards leave women no space for appreciation and admiration for their body. It took me about forty years.
So my paintings were without sophistication. No eraser and regret but embracement of the “mistakes” of the drawing. Like the real world.
My intention was only to paint the warmth and softness of a woman’s body and not to claim the prize for the perfect anatomy.
My body is ageing every day. The idea of what is beautiful and what will remain beautiful is under consideration…
I only intend to respect its desires and hug it with appreciation firstly and before all, me myself.
So that the “Beast of time” will become a kitten in my arms!
What about you?
Have you found “real”, imperfect bodies surprisingly more attractive than the perfect ones?
Have something to share? I would love to read, below, on the comments area!